This article is a result of the conscious realization that I had, after hearing none other than the New York Bestseller Cheryl Richardson and Jessica Ortner at World Tapping Summit.
Every decision that we make, our choices that we choose is an outcome of turbulence within our minds. The battle of Yes v/s No. Sometimes the battle extends long after the decision is made; especially if the decision is to say a ‘NO’. It is irrespective of the consequence of an action that we may face. ‘Guilt’, ‘resentment’, ‘fear of not being accepted as a good enough’ are some of the feelings that usually seem to surface up. This is nothing less than a mini trauma planting the seeds of disappointment within us. Long before we recognize these, they have ensured a firm place in our minds.
Thoughts govern choices, and choices govern experiences. For this reason, we usually experience a similar pattern of incidents in our life.
90% of the population in the world is said to be Conflict-phobic. We just want to avoid conflicts, as a result, we give into more ‘Yes’s’ than a firm ‘No’. This is where I could relate to a lot of my experiences. Saying ‘No’ was never easy. It is not about saying a Yes 100% of the times. It is about being present 100% in ever ‘Yes’ that we say. We don’t do justice to a ‘yes’ if there is a burning conflict within our own self. Hence, it is equally important to say a ‘No’ and most importantly a No without explanations.
I feel somewhere I was misled with an understanding of being Nice. ‘Being Nice’ is a term which is based on perceptions. Most of these we have learned as an observer and have imbibed in us throughout our childhood days. As we grow we must understand that it is perfectly okay to agree to disagree. It is not about disrespecting one’s views or opinions or deciding someone’s fate of heaven and hell but it is about giving someone else and most times our own self-space and time to come to a matured understanding of a situation or circumstance.
The No ‘s given defines our Yes in life and every Yes given eventually shapes the experiences in our existence. It is all about living and growing through them and eventually beyond them.
So if you have been someone facing a challenge with Saying No and standing up for yourself, remind yourself that it is just matured to do so. All one needs to ensure the way you would put your opinion across to someone else. So ask for grace from heavens while you stand up each time and define your Yes.
There is powerful magnificence in saying No because it helps you conquer your battle within. So stand up today and most importantly stand up with Grace!